My very accomplished Father (re)married a woman who he called his “Dolly”.
After several years of marriage, his dementia became an issue and that is where my story begins….
Dolly was now able to manipulate him in every way which became very obvious….
Dad’s initial intent, and written in his original will, avowed that all the family properties would be transferred to his children upon his death… With that said, Dolly coerced Dad in to selling said properties BEFORE declaring Dad as being incompetent….. She was a smart one that Dolly because if a person is declared legally incompetent they cannot sign sales documents. Once the properties were sold and all funds went in to their joint account, she then had Dad declared incompetent due to his dementia.
Dad became ill and was diagnosed with kidney cancer. The doctors told them that there was still a chance of him living out his life with the cancer. The doctor added the other option of removing the cancerous kidney, but recommended against it due to his age and some other complications. Once again, Dolly coerced Dad into having the surgery…. He told me he was going to be fine and that Dolly said that it was “the right thing to do.”
While Dolly was updating me and my siblings she told us that “she was going to bring him home after the surgery and get him 24/7 nursing care ~ this way he will be more comfortable and able to have his wife and loving dogs by his side”.
After Dad’s diagnosis, Dolly made an appointment with HER attorney to “update” Dad’s will.
The day of Dad’s surgery, Dolly wrote a check for $500K to each of her children. That evening she went to dinner and martinis with a friend. After dinner bought an extremely expensive necklace at a nearby mall…. I’m sure she was wearing that necklace and smiling all the way home.
The day after his surgery, she forged a document withdrawing another $500K from Dad’s investment account and had it transferred to their joint account.
When I visited my Father, after his surgery, he was BEGGING me to untie him from the bed (he was in restraints) and take him home. The hospital would not authorize it as Dolly had specially given them their orders.
She had hired 24/7 nursing care for the first couple of days in the hospital and then let them go. She would not authorize physical therapy or any other recommendations the hospital or doctors gave.
Dad never recovered from the surgery and never went home. He passed away tied to a hospital bed, with a feeding tube in his stomach, wearing a diaper.
Although the details of my Dad’s will have never been disclosed Dolly is now worth $14M.
THE YEAR WAS 2002, MY FATHER HAD JUST DIED OF CANCER AND MY MOTHER WAS ALONE. MY SISTER AND I SPENT ALMOST EVERY DAY CHECKING IN ON HER. ONE WEEKEND WE DECIDED SHE WOULD BE OK TO BE LEFT ALONE FOR TWO DAYS AS SHE WAS DRIVING AND SEEMED TO BE DOING BETTER SINCE MY DAD’S DEATH. SHE WAS SHOWING SIGNS OF ALZHEIMER'S BUT IT WAS SLIGHT AND NO ONE BUT US NOTICED IT. AFTER TWO DAYS OF NOT CHECKING ON HER I FOUND HER ON THE FLOOR. SHE WAS THERE FOR TWO DAYS AND SHE COULDN'T GET TO A PHONE. SINCE SHE WAS COMPLETELY DEHYDRATED WE TOOK HER TO THE HOSPITAL AND SHE WAS ADMITTED FOR 2 DAYS. SHE NEEDED MORE SUPERVISION WHICH MY SISTER AND I COULD NOT PROVIDE. WE DECIDED SHE NEEDED TO MOVE TO AN ASSISTED LIVING/ INDEPENDENT LIVING FACILITY WHERE SHE WOULD HAVE 24 HOUR SUPERVISON, COULD MEET PEOPLE AND HAVE A GOOD TIME. WE MOVED HER INTO THE INDEPENDENT SIDE OF FAIRWINDS IN COEUR D ALENE, ID. SHE WAS HAVING A BLAST. SHE QUICKLY MET A MAN AND THEY WERE SWEET ON EACH OTHER. I SURE WAS RELIEVED THAT WE HAD MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE ~ OR SO I THOUGHT.
ABOUT 10 MONTHS INTO HER STAY, MY MOTHER WAS DRUGGED BY THE “PRETEND” ADMINISTRATOR. THROUGH MY INVESTIGATION I FOUND THAT THIS LADY WAS NEVER LICENSED, SHE NEVER EVEN TOOK A TEST TO BECOME N ADMINISTRATOR. HOWEVER THE STATE (FACILITY STANDARDS) ALLOWED HER TO FUNCTION FOR YEARS WITHOUT A LICENSE. SHE WAS A NOBODY, JUST A SALESPERSON AND A SOCIOPATH CON ARTIST.SHE FOOLED ALL THE FAMILIES. WE THOUGHT OUR PARENTS WERE IN GOOD HANDS. THAT WAS THE FURTHEST THING FROM THE TRUTH. THIS ADMINISTRATOR HAD DRUGGED MY MOTHER FOR AT LEAST 3 DAYS. NOBODY CALLED ME TO TELL ME SHE WASN’T COMING DOWN TO EAT AT THE DINING ROOM NOR THAT NOBODY HAD SEEN HER IN DAYS! THAT IS BECAUSE THE PRETEND NURSE, POSING AS AN RN, WHO ONLY HAD HER LPN LICENSE, AND THE ACTIVITY DIRECTOR, WERE ALL IN CAHOOTS TRANSFERRING POWER OF ATTORNEYS AND WILLS INTO THE ADMINISTRATORS NAME. THEY ALSO WERE DRUGGING PEOPLE THE ALZHEIMER FOLKS TO GET THEM TO BEHAVE. THAT WAY, THE RESIDENTS ON THE INDEPENDENT SIDE WITH DEMENTIA, SIGNED OVER THEIR LIFE SAVINGS TO THE PRETEND ADMINISTRATOR. THE CORPORATION WHO OWNED THE FACILITY, DID NOT LIKE MY TELLING THEM ABOUT THEIR ADMINISTRATOR WAS STEALING JEWELRY AND CHANGING WILLS AND POWER OF ATTORNEYS. THE ADMINISTRATOR DECIDED TO DRUG MY MOTHER AS AN ACT OF RETALIATION. THE NEXT TIME I SAW MY MOM WAS IN THE HOSPITAL. MY MOM’S “BOYFRIEND” WHO WAS ALSO DEMENTED HAD THE PRESENCE TO CALL ME TO LET ME KNOW, OTHERWISE I WOULD NOT HAVE KNOWN. THE HOSPITAL TOLD US THE DRUGS IN HER SYSTEM WERE NOT HERS AND WERE VERY HIGH DOSES OF NARCOTICS. SHE WAS NEVER ON NARCOTICS. SHE WAS ONLY ON A BLOOD PRESSURE PILL AND AN ALZHEIMER DRUG FOR MEMORY. I IMMEDIATELY WENT TO THE POLICE AND THROUGH SPENT MANY MONTHS CALLING THE STATE OF IDAHO FACILITY STANDARDS, THE SUPPOSED REGULATORY DIVISION FOR COMPLAINTS ON ASSISTED LIVINGS. I ALSO CALLED THE OMBUDSMAN AND LET HER KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON. THEY DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! THEY COMPLETELY TURNED A BLIND EYE. IT CAME OUT IN A CIVIL TRIAL 2 YEARS LATER THAT THE BROTHER OF THE CEO OF THE FACILITY, SAT ON THE BOARD OF IDAHO’S DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND WELFARE, WHICH IS PART OF FACILITY STANDARDS. WHAT WAS THE REASON THE OMBUDSMAN AND THE STATE DID NOTHING? THE COVER UP BY THE STATE AND OMBUDSMAN WENT VERY DEEP. THE CONNECTIONS BETWEEN FACILITY STANDARDS AND THE OMBUDSMAN AND WAS QUITE EVIDENT DURING THE CIVIL TRIAL THAT I FILED AGAINST THE FACILITY. WHEN THE POLICE CAME TO ARREST M.J. FOR NOT BEING A REAL ADMINISTRATOR , SWITCHING THE POWER OF ATTORNEYS AND WILLS, AND STEALING PEOPLES MONEY AND LIFE SAVINGS THE STATE AT THAT POINT WAS FORCED TO SHOW UP AS EVERYTHING BEGAN TO HIT THE NEWSPAPERS AND THE NEWS. WHEN THE STATE FINALLY ARRIVED THEY HAD TO GIVE THE CITATIONS OUT TO THE FACILITY AND I BELIEVE THERE WERE OVER 150 CITATIONS OF ABUSE NEGLECT AND THEFTS. THE PERPETRATOR WAS SENTENCED TO 4 YEARS IN THE PENITENTIARY OF WHICH SHE ONLY SPENT 1.5 YEARS. WHAT A JOKE BECAUSE OLD LIVES DON'T MATTER I GUESS.MY MOTHER NEVER REALLY RECOVERED AS HER MIND WAS ALREADY FRAGILE AND M.J. FRIED HER BRAIN WITH ALL THE DRUGS. ADMINISTRATOR HAD TAKEN MY LOVELY MOTHER’S LIFE AWAY FROM HER AND HER FAMILY. I MISS YOU MOM
COEUR D ALENE ID
I saw your article in the Cd'a Press today, Thank you for looking out for the Elderly, My mom was in a situation that they tried to cover up, and since nobody did anything with my mom's Incident, someone else was abused, and it could have been prevented. It makes me sick what happened to both, but it bothers me that there is another Lady in the facility, that I believe is being punished for trying to speak out against the Facility. I have not seen her since I started the process of moving my mom out, I know that this Lady tried to get the Ombudsmen involved and that back fired on her. The people who run the facility are related to each other. If someone goes in to visit this Lady, there are several people that follow them into the room, and listen in. I was told by the person who runs the place not to ever take the Lady to Lunch, that she tries to Stir up trouble. Along with the Manager telling me she's not going to give my mom her meds, given to her from Hospice, because she doesn't want my mom to feel lethargic, I got others involved in that and she was told it's not her call to decide what to give and not to give. My mom has since passed, and I have to be tell you, it's really hard to tell my story, I have a lot of anxiety, and do not deal well with going public with this, I just want you to know, I'm behind you 100 percent, even though I want to stay anonymous. Please know that these facilities, are doing so many things wrong, I have talked to so many people re this facility, and they all told me what my mom was telling me is true, from the food walking out with the employee's and leaving very little for the people in there. when people come to investigate, they talk to the manager, and she just lies to them, I wished they would actually talk to the people in the facility, And the caregivers are told to lie, when I asked one of them about something, I was told, I don't know nothing, the boss doesn't tell us anything. They are told to keep quiet. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart.
I was a caregiver for a 72 year old gentleman who had dementia. He lived alone. My task was to keep him safe, healthy and help maintain his household. We developed a great friendship. One of my biggest concerns was the onslaught of people calling to ask for donations or gimmicks. Then there were the lawn service folks who took advantage of his inability to make wise decisions. The elderly are preyed upon by deceivers and selfish people who don’t care who they hurt.
My next job was an In Home Health Care Coordinator. I would talk with people who knew their loved one needed extra help but either was too far away or unable to help their parents themselves. I was happy to help the over 500 desperate family members I spoke with. It wasn’t a money maker but the sense of relief on the other end of the phone was worth so much to me. I found out first hand from these callers the situations the elderly were facing, lack of care, being taken advantage of financially, mental and physical abuse or just being lonely.
My mother, 89 at the time, had moved in with us since she too had dementia and could no longer live alone. She lived with us 2 years till her health required constant care. We placed her in an assisted living in N. Idaho where she was chemically and physically abused. Narcotic medications were withheld and stolen, sleeping medications were given when not prescribed and antibiotics critical to her well being were not administered. She was found filthy and extremely upset screaming “Get me out of here”. My husband and I took her out as soon as we could. The next facility was wonderful and she enjoyed her last days in peace. The State of Idaho facility standards took 14 months to investigate my complaint. The state had numerous other complaints about this facility but turned a blind eye to all the complaints. The ombudsman was also complicit by ignoring numerous calls for help from relatives, caregivers, administrators and nurses. We are still pursuing to expose why this gross negligence on the states part occurred. I don’t want anyone to be worried about their loved ones care. Please help support this website with your comments and questions. If you suspect abuse you can give me your information about the abuse and I will do my best to investigate it and get back to you. This is a love offering to those who want the best for their family. We can’t rely on government to respond in a timely manner – nor do they let the families know what they find.
Below is a picture of my dear friend who I cared for, my Mom and Spiffy.